As I am growing older I am developing varied new interests…I am realizing just how my hobbies are expanding if not entirely changing. I’ve always been heavily artistically inclined, perhaps more so because of my lineage that boasts of artists that cover the entire ‘art spectrum’ from a singer to a writer to a painter to a danseuse. So yes, I would have to give a rather large credit to my refined genetic pool. Nonetheless a lot of how we come to be is also our own innate aptitude…I do believe that aptitude is innate and not cultivated…but surely you can hone it.

     As I am growing older I am also realizing just how human characteristics are ever so changing…I always imagined myself to grow up to being slightly over the top and ‘wild’, if you may. Though I do have a zany streak about me I am pleased to realize I have grown up to be rather composed and sane! Notwithstanding my super mad streak that takes over every so often albeit only fleetingly much to the relief of me and my friends. I can assure you madness comes at a price and is rather exhausting to breed!


     As I am growing older I am also realizing how everything is so transient. And suddenly the lucid phrase ‘live in the NOW’ has turned so magical. Because you really never can know what’s coming next. The good, bad and the ugly, all are so transient. This has led me to being a little detached though in a good way…it’s not that my ability to love and be receptive to it has changed, I am just a lot less expectant.

     As I am growing older I am realizing that the most transient of all things are ‘memories’. A moment in time that makes something within you stir. That’s a ‘memory’ and you can never know when you are making one! When you are at it, it all appears like just another moment. Memories only emerge in retrospect. But if you have a slightly more intuitive mind you can sure tell an extra ordinary moment from a regular one. This realization led me to dabbling with my new found hobby.


     I always longed to somehow hold onto all the good things (good people, good friends, good pets, good clothes, good lovers). But I now realize how you cannot hold onto things. But hell, you can always preserve them! So to enable myself to preserve certain precious moments/events I began writing (way way back in the day). Writing is one of my greatest vents/therapy/boon. I infuse most of my soul into my writings and therefore they define me.

     But I have come to observe that much as words have the power to transport you to any place through your mental travel, they still lack visual appeal. And world is beautiful only because we are able to ‘see’ it! Everything in life is visual. The scenic beauty, moods and expressions of people who matter to you and those of random strangers. The remembrance of your true love’s gaze! Just all of it is so very visual! Imagery is just so integral to your memory and all that you come to be.


     I always wanted to be a dream catcher and somehow hold  a dream captive lest it fade away. Hence I found that though I may not be able to hold onto things/people I can surely preserve them, capture them maybe! What better blessing than the ability to freeze a moment in time and capture it for eternity. And this led to my interest in photography!

     As a college goer photography was one of my subjects but I never quite paid much heed to it and back then a picture to me just meant a person posing in an attempt to look ‘their prettiest best’. I never could relate to photography being an art despite my professor, the great photographer David D’souza speaking so passionately and animatedly about the wonders of photography. I was always a little distant from all things technological for I used to believe they will in some way adulterate my natural, holistic artistry.

     Because to me technology was always the diametrical opposite of art. This is largely because I felt it lacks soul and is so machine bound. However, after all these years the realization has sinked in that photography is perhaps the only skill that marks the perfect amalgamation of art with technology. I mean what else can explain just how you can encapsulate a memory so beautifully forever using a tool (camera). Also, camera is just such an adaptive and intelligent equipment, how else can one explain why everyone sees absolutely different things even when using the same lens!
     As I have grown up I have come to believe how most terms that sound oxymoronic to the natural nature of life such as ‘forever’, ‘eternal’, ‘faith’, ‘religion’, ‘one’s only love’ are all so metaphorical and relative in nature…and when everyone laughed at me for breeding ‘dream catching’ as a serious vocation I now feel it’s actually possible! With a camera in tow what’s gonna stop me?! I am gonna catch every moment and preserve every dream…people and how my eyes see them. Moments that are exceedingly beautiful but fleeting. Events that are none lesser than milestones…just what the world and life means to me…just how I see it. Yes I will finally be a dreamcatcher…and while the arrogant artist in me never thought it would say what it’s about to…I am gonna have to say, ‘Hallelujah technology’! 

Pankhuri Awasthi

– Layout Design & Editing by Shikha Agarwal