I swear that if one more person I know asks me why I’m not married yet with pity in their eyes I’m going to toss them off the nearest cliff! I get looked at as if I have failed to achieve a milestone in my life and the sad looks that I get is just pathetic. Why is it that a woman cant be identified as herself? Why does she have to have a tag hanging around her neck saying “Wife”, “Mother”, etc. Why is it that you are considered a failure or lacking if you don’t join in the long line of miserable people with hoards of screaming children. It is so sad to see that women themselves will judge you coz you fail to tag yourself.
My identity is with me, due to my mind, due to the way I act, how I handle what life throws at me…It is not because I’m joined to a man. And also just coz I don’t have that noose around my neck tagged with my so called owners name does not mean I’m fair game to all those losers out there who think by saying “Hi, want to frands” will throw me at their feet with grateful tears in my eyes saying ” Oh my lord! I have been waiting for you all my life. Come and take me now…”
No matter who I meet, even people who have been really good friends of mine and know that I’m a independent person will ask “O shaadi kab karogi?” (when will you get married). My answer is always “What for???” To which the reply is “oh yea toh karni parti hai….aise kaise….yeh to jaruri hai!” (you have to be married. It is a given). My question is always the same…Why? Why must I marry? I’m not interested. I earn my own money, I take care of myself and those around me, I’m strong and independent and I don’t want kids. Then why the heck should I marry? I happen to like my life…why should I give it up to please someone else? To cater to their whims and fancies?
I’m sick of being looked at a set of T’s and A’s. For the way a man objectifies me just because he has been taught since birth that it is his right to do so. Doesn’t matter if I’m more educated than him or can run circles around his so called logic and intelligence. Or probably have more compassion and character than in one cell of my that 20 of him cant have in their 7 lifetimes. No….I begin with a T and end with the A. And hey! I don’t have a man in my life so OBVIOUSLY I’m just dying for someone to throw a few words of praises at me – “Oh you are so pretty! When do we go for a date?” and I’m going to be all over that person. Doesn’t matter if he looks like something the cat dragged in or has the personality of a used tissue 😛 No no….he Tarzan and me Jane and that’s all she wrote!
I know I’m ranting but honestly I’m so sick of it! This judgement is ridiculous. Men I still understand doing this….they feel insecure and thrown off by an independent woman. But for women to do it to you? I fell like I was supposed to go and conquer a fort, bury my flag deep in the ground there and pronounce myself victorious. But I turned tail and ran 😛 To put it in Delhi slang – Shaadi karke konse jhande garne hai?!? I am my identity. So to all those of you who do not get this concept….consider this fair warning! Coz the next time you think of asking me this question bring your parachute with you and be ready to fly….
